February 15, 2006

teci's thesis, episode 5: hair yesterday, gone today!

i have lost most of my hair!!!

i went to a beauty salon of all places! :) this is the first time, disregarding "required" occasions such as prom and graduation ball, that i, out of my own volition, without any coercion at all, went and paid someone to make me beautiful.


my frustration is showing. :D

i was awake until the wee hours last night. my program still contained errors. and so i began to think of the other things i *had* to do, which if i put in effort i would actually see *results*.

case in point, my hair. all my childhood i had short hair, so i really don't mind letting it grow long every now and then. but now i saw that it had to go. (not all of it!)

(1) my mother regularly reminds me to have it cut already.

(2) i hate the fact that it looks good in the morning only when i'm alone! but in class, it's disorderly and the layers just look like a mess. and when i tie it with my trusty ponytails the purpose of having long hair is defeated (at least, most of the time).

(3) but to be honest i'm just taking out all my frustration about my thesis (or lack thereof) and directing it towards my hair. hair, you gotta go.

my sorry state of reasoning goes like this: at least if i go to a parlor to have it cut, it *will* get cut. whereas if i stay and debug and debug, there's no assurance i will have a perfectly-working program.

(4) and to be honest, i really need a change.
not that i haven't been going around to places every night. (oops.)

(5) this all shows that i am a coward.
i don't want to face reality; i don't want to look my problems in the eye and PERSEVERE as i look for ways to solve them.

"don't tell God how big your mountains are...
tell your mountains how big your God is!"


God, sorry for being such a coward in denial.

besides, in the words of that great man of faith David:

The LORD is my light and my salvation—
whom shall I fear?
The LORD is the stronghold of my life—
of whom shall I be afraid?
(Psalm 27:1)

that's right.

still, having realized all these, i'm glad and i feel blessed because of my haircut. i look good! (even if i do say so myself!)

ok, back to work now :)

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