(a) he was bringing up or invoking the old me
(b) he was attractive for the someone like the person i used to be
away, devil. (devils.)
like what i told a dear friend, "i know my weakness and my weakness knows me."
am i glad that even if my heart's literally not into it, i could ask help from God to do the right thing. am i glad that even if i'm a bit sad that things did not happen the way i wanted them to --- exactly because God answered my prayer for help --- God's ways are best. it's just a matter of time...and faith.
this morning we went to an English worship service in the midst of Beijing, the capital of communist "there-is-no-God" China. what a wonderful surprise to see many non-Chinese singing and praying to God side by side with the locals. truly God is great. truly God is sovereign in the affairs of kings and men.
the key verse for the service was Hebrews 11:1:
Now faith is the assurance of things hoped for, the conviction of things not seen.
ouch, ouch, triple ouch.
ouch, ouch, triple ouch.
oh, man. ever gracious, God doesn't rebuke me except in the gentlest, most loving of ways. i kept on thinking that i just needed patience (to hold on until the right one comes along, yihi!), self-control (i indulge too much), and focus (i need to work, plus i need to "distract myself from my distractions").
but all this time i've been lacking faith.
please give me more faith.
and lead me not into temptation.
You, i, and the devil know i'm not that strong...
...though recent events have shown me triumphant (thank God!)...
...(triumphant despite myself!)...
away with the things of old. i'm not the person i once was. and even now that i have to admit, shamefully, that part of me wants to go back to my old ways (15%? 10% 5%), the fact that i am now experiencing a moral and spiritual dilemma just shows that --- at the very least! --- God is changing me for the better.
i've told people (i think) that the U-turn is the hardest part. someone on a one-way street may finally realize that he was going the wrong way, and turn back to move in the right direction, literally.
i've already made that U-turn. but sometimes i see friends happily going the wrong way still, maybe even making fun of me (ironic isn't it?). and the pull of my friends plus the appeal of the wrong direction (is the one-way street upward? is it way easier to slide down the wrong direction?) makes me slow down...
have i stopped? have i gone backwards, or turned back completely, returning to error and peril?
i know better now.
the Bible says,
Taste and see that the LORD is good. (Psalm 34:8)
yup, i have tasted and seen :) and nothing else can compare with the One True God. :)
away with the things of old.
spending time living my new life as a child of God makes it all the more easier to do so.
by the way,
To all who received Him, to those who believed in His name, He gave the right to become children of God. (John 1:12)
to all. i hope you think about that. i hope you do something about it. away with the old life. :)