May 21, 2007

i'll hold tight to what i know: You're here and i'm never alone

Never Alone
by BarlowGirl


I waited for You today
But You didn't show
No no
I needed You today
But where did You go

You told me to call
Said You'd be there
And though I haven't seen You
Are You still there?

I cried out with no reply
And I can't feel You by my side
So I'll hold tight to what I know
You're here and I'm never alone

And though I cannot see You
And I can't explain why
Such a deep reassurance
You've placed in my life
We cannot separate
Cause You're part of me
And though You're invisible
I'll trust the unseen

I cried out with no reply
And I can't feel You by my side
So I'll hold tight to what I know
You're here and I'm never alone

i can't do this by myself

I Can't Do This
by Plumb



I woke up late
Guess I’m never really early
I hesitate, only to fail
I get so tired, of procrastinating
I need a change

I can’t do this
I can’t do this
I can’t do this by myself
I can’t do this
I can’t do this
Oh God, I need Your help

I’m standing still
I’m oh, so peaceful
I can’t pretend, that I’m fine
I get so ill, crazy, agitated
When I’ve not really died

I can’t do this
I can’t do this
I can’t do this by myself
I can’t do this
I can’t do this
Oh God, I need Your help

Press into me
Breathe me in
Bask in me
You’ll be free to do anything

I can’t do this
I can’t do this
I can’t do this by myself
I can’t do this
I can’t do this
Oh God, I need Your help

May 17, 2007

maybe i do =)

I Don't Know How to Love Him
by Mary Magdalene
featured in Jesus Christ Superstar


I don't know how to love Him.
What to do, how to move Him.
I've been changed, yes really changed.
In these past few days, when I've seen myself,
I seem like someone else.

I don't know how to take this.
I don't see why He moves me.
He's a man. He's just a man.
And I've had so many men before,
In very many ways,
He's just one more.

Should I bring Him down?
Should I scream and shout?
Should I speak of love,
Let my feelings out?
I never thought I'd come to this.
What's it all about?

Don't you think it's rather funny,
I should be in this position.
I'm the one who's always been
So calm, so cool, no lover's fool,
Running every show.
He scares me so.
I never thought I'd come to this.
What's it all about?

Yet, if He said He loved me,
I'd be lost. I'd be frightened.
I couldn't cope, just couldn't cope.
I'd turn my head. I'd back away.
I wouldn't want to know.
He scares me so.
I want Him so.
I love Him so.

i'm home =)


they say home is where the heart is :)

the most important Guy in my life says it too:

"For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also." (Matthew 6:21, Luke 12:34)

though strangely enough, i didn't get any culture shock or major adjustment change when we were in China....

so maybe my heart is there too :)

if only we all love as God loves...or at the very least, feel how much He loves the world. not just me, nor you, but that girl over there and the guy across the ocean whose name you can't pronounce...

the trip is over. the work, at least for me, has just begun. God has shown me a glimpse and it's not without reason. this july i will be returning to the land of China as a physicist: something God reminded me to do for Him as well :)

here's to glorifying God through physics;
here's to open doors, and open hearts;
here's to more life-changing and life-building encounters;
here's to the sleeping giant dragon slowly opening its eyes to reality, and hope.

my friend marge, who went to thailand in the exact same time period as when i was in China, said, "two weeks is such a short time".

it is. it really is :)

so come july i'll be returning to china :) to my second home? :)

wherever God takes my feet :)