opening my heart

"Open your heart
He'll walk right in..."
--- Jaci Velasquez, "Come as you are"



"opening my heart":

(A) acknowledging Jesus as the rightful center of my being

(B) dethroning my former (and current) idols. anything else that i've worshipped, that became a "god" in my life, has to be surrendered to the One True God.



"war of the wills":

it's a phrase that repeats itself over and over this week. we have all heard about the battle between good and evil, maybe you've also heard of angels versus demons or God versus Satan. but to be completely honest, the battles i've often fought are those that occur inside me.

we want to do good yet we want to do what is not good.

we want to be good but we want to stay "true" to ourselves: no conflicts, no dilemmas...no conscience.

people who know me know that when i "want" something, i really want something. so for me to give up something i really want, in obedience to God, is a really major sacrifice.

well, that's why it's called "sacrifice"...

i want to obey God but, many times, it seems that it's only on a theoretical, lip-service basis. because here comes the opportunity to choose God over myself, or the world, and suddenly i hesitate, falter, make compromises, rationalize and justify what both God and i know should not be.

and so i prayed. even if only on a theoretical, lip-service basis. deep down my mind knew that God's ways are best. but my impatient, impulsive heart only seeks to indulge itself, in the here and now.

more than once i've told God, "but i really want this."

eventually, i've realized, that i didn't really want it after all.

God knows me better than i know myself. if only i opened my heart, and eyes, and ears, and my whole being, to Him more. maybe sacrificing my false gods would become easier with practice. or maybe not.

thankfully He's ever present and willing to protect me --- to protect us --- from ourselves. regardless of our past, present, even future behavior. He is Good and Great,

and He even gives us the intention and the ability to follow Him.

God even helps me open up my heart to Him.

and in the meantime, His angels are working overtime to protect me.