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"don't look for Me where I am not," God said.

it was one of those times when i knew He was speaking, but the content of His message sounded more like the words of the Sphinx in Mystery Men. (sorry God.) or maybe i was hallucinating. i was on a four-hour flight after all.

but as i said, i knew that it was He who was speaking, and soon enough i learned the truth of His words. you see, i went to *the* happening nightclub/bar/disco in the city, and i totally felt like i was in the midst of a worship service to...hmmm, some god or goddess of fertility? of wine and celebration? of sex, drugs, cigarettes and alcohol? to sum it all up, i went to a temple worshipping the self, and --- as much as i enjoyed dancing with some friends --- i felt shame at the blatant indulgence of it all. to be honest, in preparing to go there, i talked to God but did not consult Him: all the while i was telling Him, "oh, but God, i want to go, i really want to go..."

two weeks later i learned the meaning of what God was saying, all the more clearly. as i got to know who my wonderful classmates and teachers are --- they truly are my friends now --- i also have come to see who they are not...or, more specifically, Who is not in their lives. it is an absence that goes beyond culture shock; i am not talking of difference in culture, or academic background, or personality. God is not there.

surely God is everywhere, but He gave us the freedom to choose, to open the doors of our hearts to Him, or not. as one of the very few Christian friends i knew here put it, it is not people's fault that they don't have God in their lives. well, let me modify that a bit. maybe they don't know about God (yet), or maybe they have already made a decision to not recognize God as, well, God. but in any case, where there is life, there literally is hope --- it is not yet too late for them to turn to God, to let Him save them from the (just) punishment of their sins so they can spend an eternity of goodness and joy in His presence.

i am neither good nor sinless. but i can say what i do because i have seen the miracle of a transformed life --- that of my own, only through God's power, and God's mercy.

how can i feel God's presence where He is not?

maybe, instead of expecting those around me to reach the standards of perfection in goodness and holiness...*i* should let God shine through *my* life more.

then it would be easier for them to realize that God exists, that He is all-powerful, that He is all-loving.

then it would be easier for them to bow down to Him, and follow His command, to love God and everyone else.

then it would be easier for me to feel God's presence and bask in His love.


optimize my search.


:)