as a spokesperson: it's not about me

Always be prepared to give an answer to everyone who asks you to give the reason for the hope that you have. But do this with gentleness and respect, keeping a clear conscience, so that those who speak maliciously against your good behavior in Christ may be ashamed of their slander. 1 Peter 3:15-16

because of several instances my conscience is not clear...i declare God's goodness in my life and as seen around us...but there were times i took the mocking and the hate and the bigotry personally. (sorry, Lord...)

even if what they're saying is totally against God, or completely false...

(i) i shouldn't take it personally against me.
i'm talking about God's plans and purposes, not my own. although i may be directly attacked, it's only because i'm now talking about God. it's not about me anymore!
wait, i just realized this --- i'm being attacked because i'm not focused on my self anymore...so why should my pride and my ego be damaged when i'm not focused on my self anymore?
(sorry if it sounds redundant, but it's the only way i could make this point :) )

(ii) i have to understand where they're coming from.
i wasn't born into this world with a perfectly clear understanding of who God is and what His purposes were in creating me. for the longest time, i didn't know, or worse, i didn't care. how BLIND of me to expect from others what i cannot expect from myself.

(iii) all the more i should empathize with them and show them the way!
they need God all the more! it would be so tempting for me to stop and take the easy way out, but how would that help anyone?

Dear friends, do not be surprised at the painful trial you are suffering, as though something strange were happening to you. But rejoice that you participate in the sufferings of Christ, so that you may be overjoyed when his glory is revealed. If you are insulted because of the name of Christ, you are blessed, for the Spirit of glory and of God rests on you. If you suffer, it should not be as a murderer or thief or any other kind of criminal, or even as a meddler. However, if you suffer as a Christian, do not be ashamed, but praise God that you bear that name. For it is time for judgment to begin with the family of God; and if it begins with us, what will the outcome be for those who do not obey the gospel of God? And,
"If it is hard for the righteous to be saved,
what will become of the ungodly and the sinner? [Proverbs 11:31]"

So then, those who suffer according to God's will should commit themselves to their faithful Creator and continue to do good. 1 Peter 4:12-19

LORD, help me to always talk about you with gentleness and respect, keeping a clear conscience. i'm doing all this for Your glory, not for mine. i'm doing all this for the sake of my fellow men, not for me.

i'm Your work in progress and Your imperfect spokesperson, but knowing that it's not about me makes a big difference in what i do :)

Each one should use whatever gift he has received to serve others, faithfully administering God's grace in its various forms. If anyone speaks, he should do it as one speaking the very words of God...so that in all things God may be praised through Jesus Christ. To him be the glory and the power for ever and ever. Amen. 1 Peter 4:10-11