April 24, 2010

Dear Future Husband (or, True Love for My True Love)

Dear Future Husband,

I was supposed to list down things that you did or are doing that hurt me, but

"Love does not keep a record of wrongs."

I was supposed to tell you what I want, so you can take note, but

"Love does not insist on its own way."

I wanted to tell you, if you do X, or if you don't do Y, then I'm gone, but

"Love never ends."

I hate the fact that I'm drawing you to myself... like I'm the one courting you. I don't like it... because I'm a woman? Or is it my pride?

(You can probably guess what's coming next...)

"Love does not envy nor boast,
it is not arrogant nor rude."

It was so easy for me to just hook up with someone else instead... somebody who conveniently showed up in the midst of the chaos. But I would be doing so out of spite, out of pain, and of course, self-love.

"Love does not rejoice in wrongdoing."

(Ironically, it's that same self-love that kept me from doing it. I love you, I love myself, and I even respect and love him too much as a friend to go through a false relationship.)

"Love bears all things,
believes all things,
hopes all things,
endures all things."

Thanks to our all-powerful Father, I can do this. It sometimes feels like I can't, or I don't want to, but

"The only way to truly live is to truly love."

(I don't know if that last line is explicitly written in the Bible, but that does kind of sum up The Book. But that line, I got from movies and TV.)

Remembering my ego once again, here's another movie line:

"There's no room for pride in love."

Well then. I hope there'll come a time when you love me more than I love you. It doesn't look that way now, but "Love hopes for all things," right?


And... there's something else.

"Love rejoices with the truth."

"Love never ends. As for prophecies and knowledge, they will pass away. For we know in part and we prophesy in part, but when the perfect comes, the partial will pass away.

When I was a child, I spoke like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became an adult, I gave up childish ways. For now we see in a mirror dimly, but then face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I have been fully known."

The truth is, I'm sorry for the hurt my *message* caused you. I thought it was good news! (The "you shall not die" part at least.) I had no idea it would be so misunderstood. "God's Word always accomplishes the purpose for which it was sent." We had to grow up, whether we wanted to or not.

I want to encourage you every day! =)

(How come I suddenly care what other people think? Or what my image would be? I shouldn't right? How come I'm hiding here, in my public private corner?)

It doesn't, it shouldn't, matter what other people think about me. Because I know how God sees me. =) Perhaps the ultimate end of this season is to show you how God and I see you. =)

Back then I prophesied and I knew in part; now I see and know fully. It's a hard road pala :) But I shouldn't be surprised! And indeed I have been fully known. =) And I wouldn't have it any other way. =)

Forrest Gump asked a seemingly simple question that's actually been debated by great thinkers for millennia --- do we have "destiny", or is life like "a box of chocolates" where "you'll never know what you're gonna get"?

Forrest concludes, "I think it's both; I think both are happening at the same time."

Interestingly, Forrest's own momma, who uttered the box-of-chocolates adage, saw things a little differently. While she still held that she didn't know what life would bring, she believed in destiny after all. To paraphrase,

"I didn't know it,
but I was destined to be yours."

To conclude, here's something from another good book:

"I don't want sunbursts and marble halls. I just want YOU. You see I'm quite as shameless as [my friend] about it. Sunbursts and marble halls may be all very well, but there is more `scope for imagination' without them. And as for the waiting, that doesn't matter. We'll just be happy, waiting and working for each other -- and dreaming. Oh, dreams will be very sweet now."

And that's that. I hope you get to read this. :)

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