no more.

with eyes wide shut…

…and my whole being already wincing in expectant pain, i waited for the stones…

…to come crashing down…

…on me.

They never did.

i open one eye.

And then another.

My muscles start to relax. A little.

“Has no one condemned you?” He asks.

“Wait, sir,” i replied. “This can’t be right. I’m sure if we just wait a little longer, some of them might return. Yeah, that’s it. Or maybe someone else would show up. You know, someone who really hasn’t sinned and all…I know the type…” My wary eyes start looking for them already.

“If no one has condemned you, then neither do I condemn you.”

That’s nice, i thought. (Unlike the adulterous David, i still hadn’t realized then that all sin is against God and God alone.) i was still looking over His shoulder for the human law-enforcers who were duty-bound to punish my all-too-human crimes against my fellow humans. After all, isn’t that what justice is all about?

“You just want everything to be fair,” my brother once grumbled. Grumbled! What’s wrong with that?! Ah, but that was when i thought i could fulfill all the dictates of the law. Apparently i couldn’t.

And so here we were.

“Go,” He continued, “and sin no more.”

What?

No way.

No. Way.

FIRSTLY, i STILL have to be punished for my past before being allowed to move on.

SECONDLY, He KNOWS my track record for bad behavior; how can He TELL me to just go and…um, not be me anymore?! Sometimes He tells people to go and sell all they have, and/or glorify God, and/or tell everyone the Good News. But now, He’s just telling me to

Go and sin no more.

Boy, that’s hard.

(Can i just be punished and get it over and done with already?)

But not a stone touched me.

i realized that no matter how painful punishment is, i was more comfortable with the idea of justice rather than mercy, of law rather than grace. my mind was still fixed on the old way of doing things. here i was, talking with God who became man, and i still didn’t get why He came in the first place.

Truly, God is just --- sin will be punished.
BUT God is merciful --- a sinless Jesus was punished in our place on Calvary.

Truly, God is Lord of all, whether we acknowledge it or not.
BUT His commands are for our sake; His plans for us better than what we can ask for or imagine.

Truly, God gives us the (dangerous) freedom of being able to accept or reject Him.
BUT God also gives the Holy Spirit to those who ask Him, to empower us to do the right thing.
And --- that’s right --- to empower us to go and sin no more. =)

Truly, there will be consequences for our actions, right or wrong: either way, people will be affected, and we will answer to God on the day of judgment.
BUT with Christ i am a new creation. =)

i am still far from sinless. But each day --- hopefully! --- God is molding me to become more like Christ.
With Jesus, each decision, each action is an opportunity to sin no more. =)

And so here i am. i called out to God for help only when faced with imminent death, but i stayed because of His undying love. No stone of judgment touched my flesh, but more importantly, His unfair, irrational grace changed my heart of stone into a heart of flesh.

No more, He said.

Truly with God all things are possible.
=)