i was about to write in my journal:
"God, i love You."
which would mark the first time i said that to Him...
i mean, definitely not the first time, but now it truly is a fact, and God is truly "God" of my life and being, and it's not just because i need something from Him and am asking for it or i was granted it...
now, it's a statement of something real.
but there was something about the idea of "God" as i was starting to write the sentence down. (i got so far as the comma.) it was the thought of "God": "G---", "G---"...
and i felt the urge to cry =) because it was so personal, and so real.
but the thought was still stuck like an old phonograph record that can't progress: "G---", "G---"...
then my eyes picked up the videoke song in the dorm lobby downstairs.
wouldn't you know? =)
More Than Words.
He' s telling me:
close your eyes
and just reach out your hand
and touch Me
hold Me close
don't ever let Me go
then you wouldn't make things new
just by saying, "i love You."
ang galing*, no?
because recently i have let go.
and before that, i did show my love for God even if i never said it explicitly.
thanks for reminding me, Lord, that You want us to worship in spirit and in truth (John 4:23, 24).
and thank You for being so patient! help me to NOT gloat, or say i-told-you-so, or be vengeful or spiteful...
help me to LOVE
to love DEEPLY
to love "BOTTOMLESSLY"
to love with an EVERLASTING LOVE.
thank You for loving me.
and help me to do the same, and not just say the words.
* "galing" -- Filipino term with meanings ranging from "amazing", to "great", to "cool"...let's just say, "WOW". =)