January 31, 2006

teci's thesis, episode 1: stepping out in faith

praise God :)

three years ago (well, even now), i would have interpreted "praise God" as just this expression used by older people, like "excuse me" and "thank you": automatic and with good intentions but probably not sincerely meant at the time.

but...praise God! :)

this is my series about my MS Physics thesis (ayayay...!). i just feel that it's going to be a series, with me learning about many things about life (maybe even a little about physics!...). (disclaimer: nothing bad about physics, it's just that i'm inclined towards quite a different field...)

first off: stepping out in faith.

i've always been a procrastinator. (unless i put off procrastinating until tomorrow, hahaha...) (yipes, my students might be reading!!! not that this fact will surprise them...)

i've been putting off doing my thesis because when i find time for it, my computer programs don't run the way they should --- or they don't run at all!! i'm being bogged down by the simplest of issues: "pair" instead of "Pair", ".cpp" instead of ".hpp"...really gets frustrating! it's all because i had to "rewrite" or "translate" my entire computer program from the beginning. granted, it's for the best, and it's the only way to go (relevant research) BUT a mother's labor pains ARE painful.

anyways, last night i was talking to God :) and telling him that it's already JANUARY 29, 2006 and my thesis draft is due FEBRUARY 21, 2006! yipes!!! feels like BS Physics thesis all over again, with overnights and all...

and just like two years ago, i just know in my heart of hearts that He will show Himself strong in my weakness. :) hasn't He always been there for us, our source of comfort and help in times of need, our source of abundance in times of abundance?

yup, we know that, but stepping out in faith means participating in His wonderful plans for us, obeying and following His voice because we trust in His goodness...

translation: i "know" that He'll come through for me and my thesis, but i step out in faith as i actually "do" my thesis (or at least make the effort to sit in front of the computer and pray for miracles).

so praise God! :)

as i stepped out in faith and determinedly started to work on my programs, all the compilation errors and linking errors and syntax errors were resolved, one by one. as in! :) all right! i'm not going to take credit for something i didn't do --- i've been trying the past weeks to debug my programs. i'm not going to take credit for the inadequate things that i did do --- i opened and read my programs, sure, but i've done that for so long too. i'm not going to take credit for stepping out in faith --- why applaud the actor who suddenly realized that the director calls the shots (literally!) and that trusting obedience ("faith") works to his own benefit?

nope, all the glory is His, hence this blog entry. :)
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letting go and letting God. :) --> hmm, this saying is for those who do and worry excessively. FOR ME, the problem is i "let go" of my thesis in the sense that i wasn't doing anything!! the issue is not how to let go, but HOW TO CLAIM GOD'S PROMISES BY FAITH --- how to actively do my best in the knowledge that it is God working in me and through me so i will succeed :)

it might seem strange to some readers (naks! i have an audience...) that trusting in God means "doing" something --- hey, God can take care of it, right? well, yes --- it is God who enables both the young virgin and the barren woman to give birth, it is God who enables meager or nonexistent resources to suddenly be more than enough for multitudes of people. but should i expect my computer program to run itself, and my thesis manuscript to write itself? of course not! :) as God has shown so many times in the past, He inserts the supernatural within the natural: previously barren Rachel and Hannah, old Elizabeth and Sarah, still-a-virgin-then Mary suddenly found themselves with child but the babies still had to go through the nine months within the womb (the babies didn't pop into the mommy's laps). the boy's ordinary loaves and fish were suddenly more to feed 5,000 and bread and meat suddenly fell from heaven as the Israelites wandered in the desert, but the masses still had to go through the process of getting the food, and eating them, and digesting them (the food didn't pop into their stomachs).

my point is, one thing i love about miracles is that they are sudden unexpected, "impossible" events that weave themselves into the natural. little sparks that say, whether or not you believe in God, that He is there and He is working out everything for our good.

but just because something is "natural" doesn't make it any less of a miracle: has anyone seen the full moon lately? :) or a baby: wheeeee!!! :)

but when you ask God for a miracle...
you are acknowledging that what you ask for will come from Him
you are making your first steps of faith
and you will surely be blessed :)

2 comments:

  1. Hey i just wanted to say I really enjoyed that, it's good words of encouragement and i hope you keep it up.

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  2. thanks for *your* words of encouragement too :) God bless!

    ReplyDelete