December 29, 2005

my chronicle on Narnia

i have to admit, God, that i'm still regretting not trying our for “The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe” TEN years ago. imagine what it would have been like, if i had heard/read about Narnia half a lifetime ago…if i encountered Jesus before i met boys…if i took the ounce of prevention rather than the pound of cure.
BUT, though regret is part of the learning process, i should not dwell and drown in my past:
#1. It’s finished and i can’t change any of it.
#2. If i would have done something else rather than what i actually did, then it wouldn’t have been me. That’s just it --- yes, there are so many things that should or should not have been, but given my attitudes, circumstances, and mindset THEN, i would be led to make those SAME WRONG decisions again and again.
#3. No matter how grieved i am about the mistakes of my past, they have all the more made me appreciate the Good News --- that God took the punishment that i deserved, and that God is in me now, helping me to never stumble again.
Hallelujah. =)
i will watch Narnia next month just as i have read the books a year ago: with the same overwhelming sense of gratitude, peace and joy because God loved and saved a wretch like me. It has been ten years since i did not heed a still small voice telling me about Narnia, and the years i spent between then and now were full of immeasurable regret, yet these are all OVERRULED by the simple fact that God has never, not once, stopped pursuing me. He has always been and always will be there, whether or not i can sense His presence, and when we come face-to-face (or more technically, soul-to-Spirit), it would be my pleasure to kneel before Him as the Pevensie children did (i love that scene =) ).
(written December 17, 2005)

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