the physicist's witness

And the Reubenites and the Gadites gave the altar this name: A Witness Between Us that the LORD is God. -- Joshua 22: 34 (read here)


this was my poster during the recently concluded 24th Samahang Pisika ng Pilipinas (SPP) conference held in Davao, Philippines. it is a testament to how blessed i am, research-wise :)

• the artistic and oh-so-appropriate background came from Mr. GB, who gave it for my MS Physics thesis defense last summer. lots of information propagation in action!
  
• i saw this cool font (Japanese brush) while borrowing a school laptop. the personal handwritten-like style is again appropriate.
• i already had an existing presentation last week, so i already had the cute colorful pictures as well as the organization of what i'll discuss.
• the results were just a more organized, cleaner version of my thesis. i have been working hard to submit a paper to SPP for the past two years, and i was more frustrated because i kept thinking...well, God, i have You in my life *now*, so how come i can't even do the things i *used* to do? shouldn't i be doing *more* than i used to?...come third year of being a Christian in graduate school, and everything suddenly became effortless. lesson 1: it's not about me. lesson 2: it's about God's sovereignty (He is in control); it's NOT a formula or ritual that i'll do to twist His arm to make Him do something for me. lesson 3: the cliche "He has a reason and a purpose for all of this" is a cliche because many people have found this out to be true. my past mental blocks and fruitless research work led me to stop relying on myself (putting in effort does not necessarily lead to results) and enabled me to hear Him clearly when He finally said, "Write for Me." :)
  
• i was able to rush doing this (ok, i shouldn't cram, but thankfully God enables me to do so) and have it printed in less than 24 hours before my flight to Davao (though i later found out i could also have it printed there, hehe, but see next two items)
• because i wanted to have this printed last Tuesday, a national holiday (Ramadan or Eidl Fitr for our Muslim brothers and sisters), the low-cost shops were closed. (i later found out someone was able to convince said low-cost shop to print her poster, and spent only half of what i did.) so i went to expectedly-expensive mall and everyone was pointing me to a store whose rates were twice to thrice what i had in my pocket (no more money in my atm either). and so, i ended up calling out to God in my thoughts...help!...someone directed me to a store i've never heard before, (seemingly) small, tucked among the bowling alleys and arcades in the mall annex. surprise 1: the store was large and turned out to be "decent"/respectable. surprise 2: their rates were double the low-cost shops' (which were closed anyway), but as low as one-fifth the cost of the expensive shop. surprise 3: i could get it after they had lunch --- oh sure sirs, take your time, i wanted to have lunch too! (hey, i still have money to actually eat lunch!) praise God!
• everybody in physics said i should print on tarpaulin, it was the cheapest and it lasts longer. but in the expectedly-expensive mall they needed one week to print on tarp. (that means i could get my poster three days from today as i write this. cross out that option.) so i opted for the (slightly) more expensive photo paper, since i plan on keeping the poster and i might as well get the best quality (for my pocket). guess what: during the poster session yesterday, it caught the most attention! :D since everybody did print on tarp or paper. once again, when the choice was out of my hands, God is reminding me that He is always in control, and that His ways are best, and that He wants to bless me (if only i let Him more often!).

counting our blessings is very comforting...but also time-consuming! :D i mean, where will we stop right? i'll stop here, but really, we know there are so much more blessings than this poster can attest to :)

scandalous

Unfailing Love
by Chris Tomlin

You have my heart
and i am Yours forever
You are my strength
God of grace and power

and everything
You hold in Your hand
still You make time for me
i can't understand

praise You, God of earth and sky
how beautiful is Your unfailing love, unfailing love
and You never change, God You remain
the Holy One and my unfailing Love, unfailing Love

You are my rock
the one i hold on to
You are my song
and i sing for You

and everything
You hold in Your hand
still You make time for me
i can't understand

praise You, God of earth and sky
how beautiful is Your unfailing love, unfailing love
and You never change, God You remain
the Holy One and my unfailing Love, unfailing Love

of ill repute

ill repute. bad reputation.

there is a particular piece of information that, when released to the public, might cause them to think the wrong thing. "wrong" as in (a) i'm doing wrong, and/or (b) it's not true.

here's a common Biblical term: "stumbling block".

will i make other people stumble in their spiritual journey because (a) of the wrong i'm doing, and/or (b) of some incorrect information?

for much of my early, godless (or, having-my-self-as-my-god) years, i simply didn't care what others thought. (exactly why they call it living for yourself.)

now, in this particular situation, i realize that i do care what others think: not so much that my reputation would be tarnished (golly!), but because of the possibly destructive effects on themselves.

it's bad enough that i would cause them to stumble...
...worse that i did not intend for it to happen...
...worse than worse, when it's because of something that isn't true anyway.

"what? teci's -------------? then that means i can -------------?"

no and no, and oh no!

"what would other people think?"

now that doesn't sound too selfish after all.

time for thanks

whenever there's something really MAJOR that has to be done, i always approach it in stages:

• the it's-not-that-important-i-need-to-help-somebody-now-that's-more-important stage;
• the i-have-less-than-a-week-to-do-it-but-i-feel-so-sleepy stage;
• the gosh-it's-tomorrow-and-my-adrenaline-feels-desperate-enough-to-finally-work stage;
• the numb-slash-in-denial-slash-focus-on-the-present-feel-and-react-when-it's-over stage, otherwise known as the okay-it's-already-happening-could-i-please-focus-for-ten-minutes stage; and
  
• the whew-it's-done-now-what-suddenly-i-have-lots-of-time stage.

suddenly, i find i have time to thank God :D

because i find another bunch of reasons why :D

thank You :)

murderer

Unfaithful
by Rihanna

Story of my life
Searching for the right
But it keeps avoiding me
Sorrow in my soul
Cause it seems that wrong
Really loves my company

He's more than a man
And this is more than love
The reason that the sky is blue
The clouds are rolling in
Because I'm gone again
And to him I just can't be true

And I know that he knows I'm unfaithful
And it kills him inside
To know that I am happy with some other guy
I can see him dying

I don't wanna do this anymore
I don't wanna be the reason why
Everytime I walk out the door
I see him die a little more inside
I don't wanna hurt him anymore
I don't wanna take away his life
I don't wanna be...
A murderer

I feel it in the air
As I'm doing my hair
Preparing for another date
A kiss upon my cheek
As he reluctantly
Asks if I'm gonna be out late
I say I won't be long
Just hanging with the girls
A lie I didn't have to tell
Because we both know
Where I'm about to go
And we know it very well

Cause I know that he knows I'm unfaithful
And it kills him inside
To know that I am happy with some other guy
I can see him dying

I don't wanna do this anymore
I don't wanna be the reason why
Everytime I walk out the door
I see him die a little more inside
I don't wanna hurt him anymore
I don't wanna take away his life
I don't wanna be...
A murderer

Our love, his trust
I might as well take a gun and put it to his head
Get it over with
I don't wanna do this
Anymore
Uh
Anymore (anymore)

I don't wanna do this anymore
I don't wanna be the reason why
And everytime I walk out the door
I see him die a little more inside
And I don't wanna hurt him anymore
I don't wanna take away his life
I don't wanna be...
A murderer (a murderer)

No no no no

Yeah yeah yeah

thief

Thief
by Third Day

I am a thief, I am a murderer
Walking up this lonely hill
What have I done? I don't remember
No one knows just how I feel
and I know that my time is coming soon.

It's been so long. Oh, such a long time
Since I've lived with peace and rest
Now I am here, my destination
guess things work for the best
and I know that my time is coming soon.

Who is this man? This man beside me
They call the King of the Jews
They don't believe that He's the Messiah
But, somehow I know it's true.
And they laugh at Him in mockery,
and beat Him till he bleeds
They nail Him to the rugged cross,
and raise Him, they raise Him up next to me

My time has come, I'm slowly fading
I deserve what I receive
Jesus when You are in Your kingdom
Could You please remember me
and He looks at me still holding on
the tears fall from His eyes
He says I tell the truth
Today, you will live with Me in paradise
and I know that my time is coming soon
and I know paradise is coming soon.

Don't know about you, but I'm sure He died for *me*

Barabbas Speaks
by Edwinn McNeill Poteat
from the book "He Touched Them"


I heard a man explaining
(they said his name was Paul)
how Jesus, on that fateful day,
had died to save us all.

I found it hard to follow
His fine-spun theory,
but I am very, very sure
He died that day for me.

the rich young man

i have this great book which is a collection of writings, art and photographs about Jesus while He walked the earth. it's called "He Touched Them" (a slightly different version is found here in Amazon). (the treasures you find in secondhand book stores! i was drawn to it as soon as my eyes caught the title.)


the following excerpt was taken from Francois Mauriac's "The Life of Jesus". i believe this is an example of "consecrated imagination" or something like that, where the writer embellishes the Biblical account, which may or may not be true but can be respected as "an educated guess". :)

For the complete account about the rich young man, go here.

"Jesus looked on him and loved him."

After having looked at him...a certain expression touched the Son of Man, the grace of a young person, the light in his eyes which came from the soul. He loved him therefore, and like a God to whom all are subject, without preparation, almost brutally, He said:

"One thing is lacking to thee: go, sell all thou hast and give to the poor --- and thou shalt have treasure in heaven --- and come, follow Me."

If Jesus had not loved him . . . no doubt He would have granted this young man the strength to leave all, as others had done. He would have submitted him to all-powerful grace. But love does not wish to obtain anything from him who is loved, unless it be freely given. He loved this stranger too much to capture him by force. From him the Son of Man hoped for a spontaneous movement of the heart. "But his face fell at the saying, and he departed grieved, for he had great possessions."

He was swallowed up in a crowd and with His eyes Jesus followed him far beyond space, into the depths of time, from misery to misery. For those whom Christ calls and who turn away, fall, lift themselves up, drag themselves about with eyes full of heavenly light, but with their garments stained, their hands torn and bleeding.

The sorrow which Jesus felt betrayed itself in the vehemence of [words] against the rich, which fell almost immediately from His lips. "With what difficulty shall they that have riches enter the kingdom of God...easier for a camel to pass through the eye of a needle."

Who, then, can be saved? Torturing thought for the saints themselves. His friends' sadness touched Jesus. Because He was the Son of God, the Author of life, He was going to destroy with one word all that He had said (perhaps He also saw in spirit that final moment when the young being who was turning away would come back to Him of His own accord). "With men it is impossible...all things are possible with God." Even to save as many rich men as He pleased to save, even to bring back those creatures who have fallen the lowest, to take them by force, to gather to Himself a soul, still begrimed, from the lips of a dying man. All things are possible with God; this is literally true as all the other words of the Lord. All! He had already said: "I will draw all men to Myself!" O, divine and hidden stratagem of that mercy which knows no control nor limit! All things are possible with God.

take my life :)

Take My Life
by Chris Tomlin

Take my life and let it be
consecrated, Lord, to Thee.
Take my moments and my days,
let them flow in ceaseless praise.
Take my hands and let them move
at the impulse of Thy love.
Take my feet and let them be
swift and beautiful for Thee.

Take my voice and let me sing
always, only for my King.
Take my lips and let them be
filled with messages from Thee.
Take my silver and my gold
not a mite would I withhold.
Take my intellect and use
every power as You choose.

Here am I, all of me.
Take my life, it's all for Thee.

Take my will and make it Thine
it shall be no longer mine.
Take my heart it is Thine own
it shall be Thy royal throne.
Take my love, my Lord I pour
at Your feet its treasure store

Take myself and I will be
ever, only, all for Thee.
Take myself and I will be
ever, only, all for Thee.

Here am I, all of me.
Take my life, it's all for Thee.